from the vault: to grandmother's house we go

I roll out of bed, follow my mom to the car in my pj's, complete with my blanket and bedhead, butterflies filling my stomach.

It's Tuesday. That means a day at grandma and grandpa's house.

What will they have in store for me today?

Mom drops me off at the door, I give her a kiss and hug goodbye. I'll see her after she gets off work.

Grandma greets me at the door and walks me to "my" room to put my backpack and blanket away. She points to the dresser, where there are toys, *NSYNC trading cards and other knick knacks that I can choose from. I obviously pick the *NSYNC cards first, because I love them.

I glance around the living room, decorated with a southwestern aesthetic. Think Santa Fe vibes with an ox head on the wall, a wooden pallet lined wall, wooden beams, cream colored furniture and other Native American items, like a weaved basket and drum set and trunks, all surrounding the television. My favorite area is the corner by the fireplace, though. The way the other set of couches is positioned makes me feel like my own little space to use my imagination and play pretend.

The kitchen is a cross between the 60s/70s decor with a green vintage double-oven, funky green patterned flooring (that I actually really loved), antique treasures, like an older slot machine, wooden phone and shelves with items from years past. At the edge is a small wooden dining table that no one ever actually sits down at, it's mostly for looks with decorative plates and fake baked goods under glass cases, like bread or cupcakes.

Coffee brews in the kitchen, the strong smell of caffeine wafts through the living room, while grandpa sits in his chair, reading a western book of some kind or says his morning prayers. Grandma either hurriedly wipes down the counters or puts a bagel in the toaster or some other baked good in the oven. That was her place- always making fudge, candy or some other savory dish.

As I settle in the living room with my kid cappuccino, I look to the backyard. Out there, Socks and OJ, their cats, lounge around and eat breakfast on the patio. The pool is still and peaceful, the air is cool and the sun breaks through the trees, while the other half is still shaded. Somehow all I can think about is how I wish it was warmer already, so I could put on my bathing suit and jump in the pool.

For now, I play with my dollhouse, creating story lines for the plastic family and their dog, arranging their belongings, before switching to my barbecue grill play set.

Grandma and grandpa's house was a wonderland. As a child, I equated it to a day at Disneyland or the very best daycare - complete with prizes, movies and field trips to local spots.

When Christmas would come around, grandma transformed the house into Santa's workshop with animatronics, jingle bells and toys that sang and played holiday tunes. Fake snow, miniature villages, Disney figurines, a nativity set, and of course, a tree, decked with green, gold and red ornaments. "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" was our jam. Kind of morbid when I think about it now, but we'd always turn it up, laugh and sing along. Even the smells fit the occasion with pine and cinnamon scents.

There are so many moments, smells and memories that are connected to her: Southwestern decor; antiques; jukeboxes; my love for diners; country music (that's where I developed my love for Country Weekly Magazine); photo albums and hearing stories about my mom, aunt and uncle growing up or their family vacations; makeup, clothes and purses (to me, grandma was like this glamorous movie star in my eyes and watching her get ready in the morning was like watching art unfold right before my eyes); candy (specifically peppermint patties, sugar-coated fruit slices or almost jelly-like discs? and circus peanuts); Disneyland and sing-a-long videos in the parks; playing dress up; trips to Toys-R-Us, lanterns hanging on the porch and a fountain that changed colors in the center of the pool at night. And somehow in the afternoons, the house always managed to smell of apples and oranges, though just an air freshener, it smelled clean and heavenly.

Everything felt like magic. She made it that way.

Sometimes when life just feels like too much, I close my eyes and I'm there again. In the living room, watching "Full House" or splashing around in the pool, putting on a show for my grandpa. My worries disappear, my grandparents are back, if only for a few minutes in my and life seems to make sense again.

I wish I'd known the power of those years, all those Tuesdays I spent, while I was in them.

But, I guess that's part of growing up.

You don't realize until later just how much of an impact on you the people in your life had.

Bittersweet memories.

xoxo,

Shelby